Day 31: Istanbul, Turkey - Seriously Like a Fairy Tale

Inside the harem of the Topkapi Palace.

The star of Istanbul, aside from maybe the highly recognizable skyline, is the Topkapi Palace. It was built by the Ottomans as a home for the sultans, and they didn't skimp on the decorations. I arrived promply at 9:00 AM, to beat the throngs of tourists all trying to squeeze into the palace. After all, it was built for a sultan, not for thousands of tourists. I had honed my strategy well from the Egyptian Museum. I was making a dash for the most popular and most crowded area of the palace -- the harem.

Yup, this is where the sultan kept his mom and his hundreds of concubines. Unfortunately, the rooms are slightly too small to truly capture what they look like, but you get an idea of the opulence. We're talking floor to ceiling, wall to wall deocrations. Each individual tile on the walls is deocrated, each room has a dome, chandeliers, mother of pearl cabinets, etc.

This was for like, concubine #76 or something.

Murals on the wall. Why not?

Ridiculous room. Why not? 

After wandering around the harem for an hour or so, I was spat out into the palace proper, where the tourists had arrived. My next destination was the treasury, one of the coolest places ever. This is where the fairy tale comes true. All the items displayed are hilariously over the top. One sultan's arrow quiver was made completely of emeralds. Another's dagger had a gold hilt, was studded with precious jewels, and had a fat ruby as a pommel stone. Another sultan had a 3 foot tall flask made of gold. The description said, "This flask carried water." Yes, yes it did. If I had to die tomorrow, I'd want to be bludgeoned by that flask.

The palace also contains a sacre relics room, some believable, some a bit specious. For example, it purports to contain Muhammad's beard, and many of his personal items. I believe that. I'm not so sure about Moses's rod though. At any rate, extremely cool.

I decided to hit up Istanbul's Grand Bazaar that afternoon. Having already been nagged and hassled at Cairo's, and in Jerusalem, I figured I was ready and could hold my own. After all, if a Jew and a Chinese can successfully bargain, surely I could bargain with anybody.

Bazaar!

Istanbul's bazaar is covered, a welcome relief from the sweltering Cairo bazaar. It's also cleaner, another welcome releif. The touts were still there of course, but at least I was ready for it this time. I've come to realize that as long as you appreciate the hassle as part of the experience, it can actually be quite fun. In the end, I came out with items cheaper than what I spent in Cairo. Victory! 

After a hard day of sightseeing and shopping, what could be better than getting my ass kicked by a large hairy Turkish guy, and paying for it? I decided to indulge in the pleasures of a Turkish bath. Finding the most faous, and of course most expensive bath, I was ushered into a room to change into a towel. Then I was told to lie in the hamam for about 15 minutes. The hamam was, indeed, quite lovely. It's a large marble room with a circular raised area in the middle and a bunch of washing stations along the walls. Also, it's a hot box/steam room. After 15 minutes I was completely drenched, at which time my attendant came in to massage me.

The massage can be more properly described as a beat down. He pulled my joints, cracked my bones, and twisted me into many pretzel like shapes. All the while he's working in the same hamam so he's dripping sweat onto me as well. Pleasant. Once he was satisfied that I couldn't fight back, or ever again to anybody else, he led me to the washing station where I sat down and he ladled cups of cold water over me. In addition, I elected for the "scrubbing" service, which I composed of him rubbing me roughly with a coarse mitten on his hand. I must have lost 5 lbs of dead skin from that process. After a shampooing and some more bathing, he left me to recover.